Hanahaki disease: a fictional disease, in which the victim coughs up flower petals after suffering from one-sided love.
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You pick up sunflowers on the way home. They’re bright in your hand, gently swaying in the wind, a reminder of a comfort and happiness you yearn to feel with them.
Your fingertips brush against the softness of the petals. They curl towards you, welcoming to the touch. You wish it was your fingertips running through their hair, grazing their cheek, and resting against the palm of their hand. The petals curl away, and you place the flowers by the window.
Love isn’t fair. You know it well by now. The blood-stained petals lying gracefully by the toilet seat are a reminder. It’s ironic, how a nightmare to some looks so beautiful to you. Love is bloody. Love is hard.
Sunflowers are supposed to make you happy, yet looking at the mess of sunflower petals in front of you only leaves a sense of remorse.
It was never supposed to be this way.
You were supposed to love me, just as much as I love you.
The constant puking of petals hurt, but that was a given. What hurt more was the fact that they never smiled because of you. That they never considered you something more. That every-time you looked at them like they were the stars in the sky, you were only in the darkness. Love is unfair. Love is cruel.
You supposed that the petals were a well-deserved punishment. After all, how could you be so foolish? How could you fall head-over-heels for someone as lovely, as beautiful? You didn’t deserve love; but, maybe love didn’t deserve you.
You leave the petals scattered in the washroom. You aren’t ashamed of them like you once were. Love be damned. Sunflowers may be bright, but they could never cure the love blooming inside of you.
Let the love grow. Let the love blossom.
Love is beautiful. Love clutches at your throat. Love is in the flowers in your hand.
Maybe, in a better life, you could be happy with them in a valley of flowers. You imagine them with a sunflower tucked behind their ear. You smile in bliss.
For now, you remain in your own valley of bloody petals. The sunflowers by the window wilt away, as you do with it.
Dear Cindy,
First and Foremost, I really enjoyed the personal narrative that you have composed; after reading your creation the initial response that I received was that your story faces some of the true hardships of life. Which is good because if we only looked at the positive side of things and never the practical side of the situations we would have a false sense of reality and would not be able to come to terms with ourselves.
The style in which you were able to flow your ideas was also done very well as it did not feel like there were unnecessary pauses in your writing which is always pleasing to read, so excellent work!
I truly loved your entire piece, however, the areas that really clung to me were as follows:
“Love is bloody. Love is hard.”
“Love is unfair. Love is cruel.”
These few lines that you have included within your piece are short and beautiful additions though, they do set a negative tone that is probably what I found so alluring about it; in addition I feel that with these small phrases they are able to conclude your thoughts really smoothly, but also providing some epiphanies for the reader. Lastly, I think that the true art of a great writer is that they are able to create a lens into world they have made, for the reader through their writing, and I believe that is what you have done here.
A minor detail that you could fix in order to enhance your writing could be to give a thorough check over for GUMPS or grammar mistakes for example in the following line:
“a reminder of a comfort and happiness you yearn to feel with them.”
I think it would be best to change the “a comfort” to “the comfort”.
Overall your writing is great, and I am very honored to have read it. I can not wait to read your future pieces of writing 🙂
Sincerely,
Kshef
Kshef,
Thank you for commenting on my piece! I really appreciate your (lengthy) feedback. I’m glad to be acknowledged by the greatest writer of all time :P. I’ll make sure to check over my writing for grammar mistakes. In all honesty, I was rushing.
Love,
Cindy <3